I have recently gotten back into researching my family’s history. I love digging for info and I get giddy when I find digital images of original documents. I love playing “Sherlock Holmes” and connecting dots. History has more meaning for me when I learn stories of real people in my family — where they were and what they were doing during key events.
And since I am a purpose-driven person, I ask myself: Why am I doing this? Why am I obsessed with finding the enslavers in my family? Why do I want to find the exact physical location of land owned by people in my family and go visit it? Why do I want to chart their migration journeys on a map on a wall in my house? What can I do with this information that is purposeful?
Owning My Truth
Even though I assumed that some of my ancestors were enslavers, it still hit me pretty hard to actually see the first documented proof. There it was in the 1850 Slave Schedules — the name of my great-great-great-great grandmother, Sarah Craven. Sarah owned humans. It was a documented fact.
Sarah’s grandfather, Amos Sinclair emigrated from Scotland and settled in Virginia before the American Revolution. Sarah was born in 1775 and died in either 1862 or 1864. Her husband, Abner, died young. So, being a widow, she could own property.
In high school history class, the Revolution and the Civil War seemed so far apart and were “taught” separately. But there is Sarah — whose life spanned both. She was born months before the signing of the Declaration of Independence and died during the Civil War. She was right in the middle of it all — in Virginia — her whole life.
The fact that my ancestors owned slaves does not make me a bad person. But knowing this truth makes me a person who better understands my family’s place in history. It makes me want to own all of my family’s truth, the good and the bad. I don’t want to celebrate the good while ignoring the bad — or pretend that this entire, complex and messy truth has no bearing on my current day-to-day life in this country.
The stories from history that we tell and lift up impact how we perceive our today. In a recent interview, Dr. Tonya Matthews, CEO of the International African American Museum in Charleston, South Carolina, said that by understanding the past, we understand the present. It’s simple and true. By learning and owning the whole story of our family’s history, we can live more authentic and honest lives, today.
This post was originally shared on Medium, August 2023.
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